after Prof. Thambi's class ( he asked us to think two questions for him before coming to his class), i started to have passion for learning.
Learning: is a process of looking for answer.
I has been a student for too long, maybe, the passion for studying slowly die off. especially after i entering university, the purpose of studying most of the time is "not to fail exam". Most of the time, i am "forced" to study, because if i fail the exam, my parents will be very disappointed, i don't want to make them sad, i will be very very guilty.
There are still 86 days left to my study week.
Frankly speaking, i dono what had i been doing for this whole year,
Since entered final year, i don't think i work hard enough compare to my third year. i dono what had i learn in the final year.
Medicine seems boring to me, i don't think i can be a good doctor (because i think that i know nothing), sometime, i even think of quiting the course... but, think only la~
After Prof.Thambi's class, i was inspired to LEARN again.
Create question, then look for answer. This few days, i put on some effort to find out the answers of the question being asked by lecturers. I find this process is actually very interesting. The feeling of when the answer is found, is so so so so so HAPPY.
I still have 86 days left,
a senior told me that, many changes still can be made within this 3 months time.
ya, it's still not too late.
this fire should keep burning, and i will let myself PASS my Final MBBS.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
keep going
life is like a game
need to defeat the monster of 1st level,
then only can go to 2nd level.
thus, need to keep improving, to go to higher level
need to defeat the monster of 1st level,
then only can go to 2nd level.
thus, need to keep improving, to go to higher level
Monday, July 4, 2011
welcoming the arrival of a new life
before going for the first overnight oncall, i was still wondering, "am i able to stay awake for whole night without sleeping?" i usually sleep quite early, not exist 12am, otherwise i will be in drunken state... if i cant overcome my sleepiness, how can i learn from the oncall... i was so worry...worry...worry...
then the night come. labour room was a tense environment. sympathetic reaction was activated. surprisingly, i was not sleepy at all...
10pm: clerk a mother admitted bcz of low fetal weight, had underlying PIH, Grave's ds and corrected VSD... a complicated case...
12am: went to operation theater to observe a Ceasarean Section together with Bilateral Tubal Ligation. get my log book signed *v*
3am: come back from OT, got 2 new admissions, clerk patients again
4am: missed to conduct a delivery, bcz the process of that multigravida mother delivering occured too fast, then jz able to deliver her placenta
5am: another mother was about to deliver, at this time, i volunteered to assist a houseman to conduct the delivery. The baby was born safely, thanks god! but after that, i found my heart pounding very fast, very hard...got a bit shortness of breath...dono why, i think i was frightened...in the same time, i was touched, by the courage of the mother.
6am: went to post-natal ward to take blood. i was still very alert, able to get all veins, 100% achievement for blood taking ^^
8am: call it a day! went to the cafe in faculty to treat myself with my beloved roti canai + milo panas, an award for myself to complete my 1st ever oncall, and 100% achievement for blood taking ^^
p/s: both of my gastronemius muscles were painful, bcz of standing for whole night...but then, i felt the tiredness was worthy
actually, at that night, i saw 2 very contrasting acceptance of the arrival of baby by his/her mother...
case 1: a young mother, primigravida, she didn't want to push properly, she said she gave up to push. After encouraging her, she tried to push and finally the baby came out. But...she didn't look at her own baby when the baby was born out...she seems like don't want her baby... i am so sad...
case 2: a mother seems very happy after giving birth to her baby, immediately want to hug the baby, want to breastfeed the baby.
Lesson learn:
a woman need to be very brave to deliver a baby, not to mention the 10months of difficult time before delivering.
a man need to appreciate a woman who is willing to deliver a baby for him, pain of delivering is the most painful...a man will never know how to describe it...
i appreciate my mom, who had difficulty when delivering me, and was sent to emergency OT...then had a classical Ceasarean section...because of me, an ugly subumbilical midline scar was added on her beautiful tummy...
i appreciate the obstetrician who help my mother to deliver me, due to his/her proper managementl, i am alive and well now, and my mom is well too without suffering any complication from the operation
then the night come. labour room was a tense environment. sympathetic reaction was activated. surprisingly, i was not sleepy at all...
10pm: clerk a mother admitted bcz of low fetal weight, had underlying PIH, Grave's ds and corrected VSD... a complicated case...
12am: went to operation theater to observe a Ceasarean Section together with Bilateral Tubal Ligation. get my log book signed *v*
3am: come back from OT, got 2 new admissions, clerk patients again
4am: missed to conduct a delivery, bcz the process of that multigravida mother delivering occured too fast, then jz able to deliver her placenta
5am: another mother was about to deliver, at this time, i volunteered to assist a houseman to conduct the delivery. The baby was born safely, thanks god! but after that, i found my heart pounding very fast, very hard...got a bit shortness of breath...dono why, i think i was frightened...in the same time, i was touched, by the courage of the mother.
6am: went to post-natal ward to take blood. i was still very alert, able to get all veins, 100% achievement for blood taking ^^
8am: call it a day! went to the cafe in faculty to treat myself with my beloved roti canai + milo panas, an award for myself to complete my 1st ever oncall, and 100% achievement for blood taking ^^
p/s: both of my gastronemius muscles were painful, bcz of standing for whole night...but then, i felt the tiredness was worthy
actually, at that night, i saw 2 very contrasting acceptance of the arrival of baby by his/her mother...
case 1: a young mother, primigravida, she didn't want to push properly, she said she gave up to push. After encouraging her, she tried to push and finally the baby came out. But...she didn't look at her own baby when the baby was born out...she seems like don't want her baby... i am so sad...
case 2: a mother seems very happy after giving birth to her baby, immediately want to hug the baby, want to breastfeed the baby.
Lesson learn:
a woman need to be very brave to deliver a baby, not to mention the 10months of difficult time before delivering.
a man need to appreciate a woman who is willing to deliver a baby for him, pain of delivering is the most painful...a man will never know how to describe it...
i appreciate my mom, who had difficulty when delivering me, and was sent to emergency OT...then had a classical Ceasarean section...because of me, an ugly subumbilical midline scar was added on her beautiful tummy...
i appreciate the obstetrician who help my mother to deliver me, due to his/her proper managementl, i am alive and well now, and my mom is well too without suffering any complication from the operation
Saturday, May 28, 2011
whatever
next monday: short case exam
next thursday: viva exam
next friday: written paper
today: online watching movie
what the hell i have done?!!!
i should have done my revision...
there are too many thoughts inside my head, sorry books, no space to process u...
next thursday: viva exam
next friday: written paper
today: online watching movie
what the hell i have done?!!!
i should have done my revision...
there are too many thoughts inside my head, sorry books, no space to process u...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
strong
i never doubt that i am a strong person
but sometimes my tears just...
i think maybe bcz i am feeling really helpless just now despite i had tried to do my best
tried to squeeze out whatever inside my brain to come out with the correct answer which my lecturer wanted, but it kept turn out incorrect...i was disappointed with myself...then i lost my confidence...then i felt helpless...
other than studying, i think maybe need to acquire a skill about how to read people's mind
thx the lecturer for not getting angry with me, felt so sorry for making him disappointed, i know he was trying very hard to push me
i will work harder, and smarter
ya, i always will
but sometimes my tears just...
i think maybe bcz i am feeling really helpless just now despite i had tried to do my best
tried to squeeze out whatever inside my brain to come out with the correct answer which my lecturer wanted, but it kept turn out incorrect...i was disappointed with myself...then i lost my confidence...then i felt helpless...
other than studying, i think maybe need to acquire a skill about how to read people's mind
thx the lecturer for not getting angry with me, felt so sorry for making him disappointed, i know he was trying very hard to push me
i will work harder, and smarter
ya, i always will
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